Posted by: amylamb | October 20, 2011


Suddenly, I am standing on a platform which I did not build for myself, consumed by the silence of the audience before me. Now, if ever, is not the time to say something stupid.

In the past two months, I’ve gotten in way over my head. I really didn’t do it on purpose. I suppose it was God’s way of answering my “God, use me,” prayer. Nevertheless, I am grateful for His provision of multiple unexpected opportunities, and a platform that is small but bigger than I deserve. As I reflect on the marvelous surprises of the past two months – which include releasing my first book, being published in WORLD and winning highly competitive scholarships for essays that were written on a whim – I am truly frightened.

I’m not used to feeling vulnerable. But there’s something about having my work available for the world to see that unravels my facade of “don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” Here’s a little secret: I don’t. I’m answering the call to proclaim truth as best as I know how, and I’m figuring it out along the way. I am truly scared to death of misrepresenting truth through any unfounded comment or ignorant assertion that I am but one careless word away from making.

So, every time I click the “publish” button, every time I choose to say what’s on my mind, every time I speak to another editor, every time I check the analytics and page views of my online work, the prayer of Jacob in Genesis 49:18 erupts from my heart: “I look for your deliverance, O LORD.”

Jacob understood the power of his words. He voiced this prayer in the middle of the blessing of his 12 sons – from whose line came forth a race of sinners and the Messiah to deliver them. The weight of Jacob’s words would remain for generations, and recognizing his depravity, he asked for God’s intervention. Hosanna. Deliver us, oh God.

Though my words will never change the world to the extent that Jacob’s did, I pray that I will never – if even for a moment – let go of Truth Himself. I pray that I will be a responsible steward of the Truth. And God forbid that I would ever cease the relentless pursuit of making His Name – His Truth – His Kingdom – known among the nations.

The universe is His platform, and we are His audience. His are the hands that set us apart to declare His wonders to the world He created. His is the voice that pierces the silence – or the meaningless chatter – of the audience before us – before Him. He is the Truth that makes our message worth listening to. He is the love that magnifies the sound of Truth to penetrate the farthest corners of the earth.

Be exalted, Oh God.

“Remind them of these things, charging them before God not to fight about words; this is in no way profitable and leads to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who doesn’t need to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth. But avoid irreverent, empty speech, for this will produce an even greater measure of godlessness.” -2 Timothy 2:14-16


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